Become a charter member of BUTTS

I am forming a new organization: BUTTS (Babes United to Tout Shoes). I have been a BUTTS for many years now and want to give you the opportunity to be a BUTTS too.

One of our missions will be to stop the abuse against shoes. You know what I am talking about: shoving your size 12 EEEE shoe into an 8 narrow, refusing to polish your shoes, wearing shoes that wish they had never been made because they are so ugly (you know who you are), etc.

One of the cruelest things I have seen in many a shoe watching day is the BMW commercial where the woman saws off the heel of her Prada pump so she can drive the car unencumbered by said heel. HELLO?!?! They make shoes specifically for driving (hence the name "Driving Moccasin"). Why in the name of all that is Holy would you deface a Prada Pump in that manner?

We must move quickly against BMW before the unwashed masses think that this is appropriate behaviour toward shoes.

Join me this Saturday at your nearest BMW dealer. Make signs that say catchy slogans such as "Drive a Beamer? You're a wiener!" and the like.

Do not let this monstrosity against shoes continue. They are counting on us.