Holy Week

Every year I promise myself a Holy Lent. I give up the appropriate item, habit, or food, and go my merry way. Every year I am disappointed come Low Sunday (the Sunday AFTER Easter) that I did not do better. Whatever better might mean. This year I did not make to Low Sunday before disappointment fell. It is here today.

What brought this on? Oh, I don't know. Could be walking out to the waiting room and seeing all of those sad little faces of the children who don't understand why the adults in their lives hurt them. Could be the news every morning of another soul gunned down in the streets in the county north of us. Could be that I am worried about Adam in Iraq.

Could be that I am realizing that perhaps God wants more of me than an item, habit, or food.

The good news here is that I have a whole week to make my Lent holy. So for this last week of Lent I propose to pray more, help more, be more.

And I wish for you a Holy Lent as well.

I have some things to tell you

I have been thinking about sparkley armpits (slow work week) and I have some other things that I think need to be clarified. Some things that I thought everyone knew but, apparently, no; these things must be put out there for the world to see and know. Or at least my office needs to know these things.

If you want to play the game, you have to dress in the uniform. That means:

no Hello Kitty purses
no crocs (I love my crocs, but I wear them at home and only at home.)
no clothes so tight I can make out the outline of your appendectomy scar
no flowers painted on your toenails
no playboy bunny ANY THING
no cleavage (boob or butt)
no flip flops with the strips of fabric tied around the straps

There are many other crimes against fashion but I am too depressed to go on with this list. The scary thing is that some of the above are all on the same person.

So now that we have covered appearance lets talk about things not to say out loud. Ever. But especially to your boss.

"Wow I am really tired, I didn't make it home til 6 this morning."
"You look really good for someone your age." Shockingly enough, this person still lives, breathes, and walks among us.
"Did I know that I was supposed to do that?"
"I am not really in the mood to work today." My personal favorite. It puts me in the mood to pull one's head off like a Barbie doll.

There are so many more that if I list them all I will just want to kill myself.

So my friends here it is: The part of the employee manual that is left out.

Ain't it the truth

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Help me out here people

I stopped by the drug store on the way in to work today to pick up some Tums (Chipotle - a whole 'nother story), and wandered up and down the aisles, as I am prone to do, for other items I might "need."

I found myself in front of the ladies deodorant section and I have a burning questions that must be answered. WHY do they make deodorant with sparkles in it? Do my pits really need to glisten? Is it in case I am held up by a bad robber person and when I hold my arms up said person is blinded by the sparkle of my pits and I can run away? I just don't know the answer to these questions.

It is a sad thing to be so excruciatingly unhip that I don't even know if my armpits need sparkles or not.

Clearly, I am being tested.

So I bring my happy self to work today to be greeted by two of my young therapist friends who went to DSW last night and cannot wait to show me what they bought.

I wanted to poke their eyes out with an unsharpened pencil.

This, of course, is not a very Christian response so I did not leap over my desk Uma Thurman-Kill-Bill style.

I just broke the pencils under my desk where they could not see, smiled, and told them that they had learned well little grasshoppers.

For indeed they had! One had on a pair of incredbly sassy black wedge sandals (ALMOST as sassy as my wedge heel sling backs that I am currently wearing. She is still in training.) The other had on a pair of ballet flats almost exactly like mine. Well played: when in doubt, copy your mentor.

So, while I am being tested, it is clear that I have preached the "don't buy those crappy plastic shoes and expect anyone to take you seriously" sermon long and loud enough to convert two young novices.

Let's Talk About Books!

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback?
Paper backI have to REALLY REALLY want to read the book to buy it in hardback. which is usually the case so I guess I should just say hardback.

Amazon or brick and mortar?
Amazon. Yes - incredible as it sounds our local Borders (we don't have Barnes and Noble) sucks.

Barnes & Noble or Borders?
borders. I would LOVE to have Full Circle at my disposal, but alas.

Bookmark or dogear?
Bookmark hardbacks, dogear everything else.

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random?
Random sounds so much better than "all over the damn place."

Keep, throw away, or sell?
Keep. Always. Forever.

Keep dust jacket or toss it?
Keep it! What kind of uncultured savage would TOSS THE DUST JACKET?! I do tend to take the jacket off while I am reading it so I don't get it messed up.

Read with dust jacket or remove it?
Yeah, what I just said.

Short story or novel?
Usually novel. I have to be in the mood for short stories.

Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)?
I don't care. I have both.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?
Yes.

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?
Both. Either. And then there have been the nights when it is neither and I must drag my happy self to work looking like something the cat coughed up. Also see later question!

“It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”?
GACK. I am ashamed to say both

Buy or Borrow?
Buy, always. I HATE to borrow books other than the library. I must confess that I actually write in some of my books. I know. I heard the collective gasp of everyone on that confession

New or used?
Either, but if used it has to be in like-new condition. No sqicky stuff in the pages or irky smell

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse?
All of the above.

Tidy ending or cliffhanger?
Tidy endings! Cliffhangers make me feel ripped-off. Like the last chapter of the book is missing and I should get a discount, and then I feel I should write the author a letter of righeous indignation. Really.

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading?
Usually nighttime, right before bed. IN bed. Then Steve can come move the book off me, take my glasses off, tuck me in, and turn out the light.

Stand-alone or series?
I used to like series books, but my attention span for them has waned as I've gotten older and I'm leaning more toward stand-alone stuff lately.

Favorite series?
Nancy Drew, Madeleine L'Engle's Time "trilogy", Agatha Christie's Miss Marple books (I know; I can't help it). The Lord of the Rings (HEY I liked it before it was COOL to like it)

Favorite children's book?
King Bidgood's in the Bathtub (Oh WHO knows WHAT to DO?) Ok that last part was purely for my children because that is how that particular book had to be read. Wind in the Willows - is that really a childen's book? Bruno the Beagle - that is for John Forrest. The pigeon book being read by Steve to Theo

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard?
Pigtopia by Kitty Fitzgerald

Favorite books read last year?
If "last year" means the twelve months prior to today, then: A Cooks Tour, Looking for Mary, City of Fallen Angels

Favorite books of all time?
Our Lady of the Lost and Found, Memoirs of Cleopatra and there are a bunch more but I cannot remember them all!

Least favorite book you finished last year?
Something by Sue Monk Kidd - not the Mermaid Chair or the Secret Life of Bees but something else that wants women to jump in the ocean while holdling red yarn to connect each other or some other such crap as that. The Life of Pi - hated it, Sorry Andrea!

What was the last book you finished?
City of Fallen Angels

What are you reading right now?
Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

What are you reading next?
I have no idea.....

Salsa

There are many things of wonder here on the East Coast. Salsa, alas, is not one of them. The restaurants usually serve some weird water concoction that is in no way similar to the salsa I grew up with. Here is an incredibly easy recipe that serves a bajillion:

1 jar salsa
1 container fresh salsa (usually found over with the deli stuff)
1 small bag of frosen corn, thawed
1 can black beans rinsed and drained
cilantro if you like a lot of it in your salsa, which I do

Mix it all together and, ta da! Salsa!!

This is not as good as Tarahumara's, but really, is anything?

mr. Deity Episode 8: Mr. Deity and the Top Ten

Erin you are not the only one who thinks lists should be done with ten things listed.

Another week-end screams by

I think that we should apply for a grant worth a bazillion dollars to do a study on why the week-end flies by and the work week crawls along! I know that there is some quantum black hole where time disappears is reason for it.

I would like to report that we had a very relaxing week-end where we spent the days lounging in our new home reading bits of Proust to each other while drinking cappuccino and eating sugar cookies but it would be a complete lie.

Saturday we moved the what has now been dubbed "The Beast." Remember the big armoir in the living room that had the stereo in it? It weighs eleventy hundred pounds. Steve and some poor child from youth group started to move it and then I panicked and called in another friend (Mike Carter) to help. I thought The Beast was going to win the war, but these three finally got it moved.

What did I do? I moved any "little" stuff that was left while battling a stomach bug. Fun times were indeed not had by anyone.

Sunday I made my debut singing in the choir. It was great fun and I am glad that I joined. Next Sunday we are doing a completely sung Evensong service with the Magnificat and a Cantique. I am a little nervous about it, but I know it will be fun. We have a string quartet that will be playing with us - very cool!

After service we had a workshop on praying with Anglican prayer beads and then I had a meeting with the Jaycees about a fundraiser they want to do for the Center for Children. I think we made it home about 5:00.

Sigh - maybe next weekend.

Pray for me in the hour of my need.

As you know, I have given up frivolous spending for Lent. Most of you also know that I love shoes beyond reason.

A new DSW Shoes has opened here in town.

HOW can I be strong and resist the siren song of new shoes?

It will be a tough challenge, but one I am ready to accept.

We're DONE

Well, for all practical purposes. We still have to go get the sewing room tables and the bed frames for the guest room.

It is fabulous. It is grand. It is ALMOST like being back in Oklahoma. (Nothing is THAT grand.)

We will be posting pictures soon - as soon as we find the cord that goes from the camera to the computer.

I still hate moving.

This is the do-or-die week-end.

Pray for me in the hour of my need.

I hate moving

with a passion of a thousand firey suns. I hate the packing, the unpacking, the actualy physical exertion involved...the entire ball of wax.

Once it is done it will be grand. I will actually have my clothes in the same room that I sleep in instead of having to to upstairs to get dressed. There is MORE THAN ONE BATHROOM so no more racing Steve to see who can get through the house faster to use the ONE we have now.

sigh

I just hate the moving part.