Monday, December 31, 2007

It's time

Yep - a short year ago I was resolving to continue my intense dislike for TO and all things Dallas/Texas related. While frivolous at best, that was a resolution that I was able to keep all year. This year maybe I will work on something a little more substantive.

These are in no particular order just in case you were wondering.

Have more patience with the people who disagree with me. I am so busy thinking, "Will you please just hurry and see it my way!" that I am not truly listening to what the other person is trying to tell me. Who knows, I might change my mind (then again, I might start to like Dallas too).

Quit joining groups/clubs/things and then be resentful of the time they take. Either be all in or all out.

Take a trip with my sistah. The last time we took a trip together it was in the back of a Ford station wagon on the way to Colorado Springs. Maybe Santa Fe or some artsy fun place (and I know she loves Santa Fe!) Hope you think this is a good one, Dawn, since if you don't it is really going to mess with the success of this one!

Lobby for a Sonic Drive-In to be built within a 25 mile radius of my home. This is a purely humanitarian effort to make the lives of the people in my community better.

Continue my obsessive love of shoes - it's good to have one you know you can slam dunk.

Others that are between me and God for now. Those are the really important ones...and the ones that will take all His help to keep.

Blessings in the New Year. I love all of you!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas Excitement

For those of you who have missed the tales of Midnight Mass, let me just give you a few highlights:

The eggnogs were a hit! We named one the virgin eggnog and the other the trollop eggnog. If you have read the posted recipes then you completely understand.

Betty should have had a shot of something prior to the service - perhaps it would have prevented her from passing out in the front row and completely throwing her husbands game off as he tried to preside over the service.

The Advent Wreath is not safe close to the choir. Or maybe the choir is not safe close the the Advent Wreath. My hair is a little singed and my ear a little tender from being too close to week two's candle.

Again with the Advent Wreath and the Choir: Helen's sleeve proved to be made of completely flameable material. Fortunately, Bill was there to smother it. Thank God he did not breathe on it because he had discovered the trollop eggnog at the reception prior to the service. It wasn't really flaming, just seriously smoking which was enough to freak us all out!

In spite of the excitement, the service was lovely. There were french horns and violins in addition to the choir and it was great fun to have all of that when "Joy to the World" was sung as the recessional.

Hope your Christmas was fun!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Only one week left

You thought this was a shameless plug for my birthday didn't you. How crass.....

One week until we talk about the ubiquitous New Years resolutions.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

DC and Old Durham Church


The National Christmas Tree. While it was cool to see it in person, I was somewhat under-whelmed. I guess I expected George and Laura to be standing on top of it waving to us as we passed by. They weren't. Bummer,


Here is our little church's front doors. I have a somewhat burning desire to paint them red every time I walk up the path.


This is the window I look out while I sit in the choir. I like the ever-changing view with the seasons.


The church was decorated for Christmas even though it is only the fourth Sunday in Advent. At least there is no baby Jesus in the manger. I would have to protest loud and long.

Good Nog - Bad Nog

UpdateGranny's no-fat- no sugar version is amazing! I am never buying the stuff in a carton again! And I suppose you could add the real "nog" if you wanted to.

In the interest of playing fair, I am posting both recipes for Egg Nog. The first recipe is from Granny, the second from a nice lady in Bartlesville Oklahoma named Mary Martin. No - not the one of South Pacific and Peter Pan fame - although how cool would that be?

Guilt Free Egg Nog - Fat Free, Sugar Free

In a medium bowl, combine 2 cups skim milk with 1 -ounce package instant sugar free vanilla pudding mix.
Stir well until thickened.
Add 2 more cups skim milk and 1 cup egg substitute (like Egg Beaters); mix well.
Stir in 2 to 3 teaspoons rum extract. 1/8 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg until the mixture is well blended, smooth, and coats a spoon.
Refrigerate over night . Serves 10

Cook's note: Add Splenda to taste if you like a sweeter nog. If it thickens too much, simply stir in more skim milk until it reaches your desired consistency.
Enjoy

When I have egg nog I always think of Grandma, she loved it! And she always wanted a little "Nog", its the only alcoholic thing she ever drank. We always used Brandy instead of Rum - but its good either way.

Staats Ranch Egg Nog - Full of sugar, fat, and booze

2 quarts milk
6 eggs, separated
3 cups sugar
12 ounces bourbon
6 ounces rum
1 1/2 quarts whipping cream

Beat egg yolks until thick. Add bourbon and rum very slowly in a thin steady stream. Stir in sugar. In a different bowl with clean beaters, beat the egg whites until tiff. Fold whites into yolk mixture and stir until smooth. Add milk. Whip the cream and fold in. Refrigerate 24 hours to ripen and thicken. Stir before serving and sprinkle with nutmeg.

I think Grandma would have liked this recipe. Certainly plenty of "Nog" in there!
I am taking both recipes to the Vestry hosted Pre-Christmas Eve party at the request of Fr. David.

Coming soon: Pictures of the National Christmas Tree taken yesterday on our twirl through DC!

Friday, December 21, 2007

My friend Sharon



This is my friend Sharon who makes me laugh so hard I cannot breathe. I look crazed and confused (what's new) in this pic. She said she felt like this was our prom pic and that nearly did me in!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

In the Spirit

Today at work we received a huge bag of handmade pillows and a box of kids books. The mentally disabled adults at the center next door to us made the pillows and picked the books so kids who come for sexual abuse treatment can have a pillow and a book.

Kinda made be feel like a big ol' schmuck and a huge ingrate.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Another reason to behave at the mall:



You never know who will be behind you on the escalator.

My kind of tree.....


Go to this site to see more cool trees, including one of beer bottles that is quite lovely

Saturday, December 15, 2007

How beautiful

How beautiful...
on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"
Isaiah 52:7

Monday, December 10, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

Another Mimi I know

I have a friend named Cookie who is also a "Mimi." She has a little grandson named Zach who is a scream!

Zach is 6 and has difficulty not talking during school. So, his Mimi decided to bribe him into being quiet during class....with the promise of a chinchilla.

Zach has done very well keeping quiet since the bribe started. To the point that his Mimi is now on the hunt for a brown chinchilla. It cannot be gray - it must be brown. She was in my office today and we were hunting on the internet for a brown chinchilla in our area (she is the Chairman of the Board of Directors - I'm safe hunting for stuff on the internet for her).

We finally found one 2 hours away so she is off to pick it up for Zach's Christmas present/bribe. Oh, and Zach has named his chinchilla to be Vanilla.

Vanilla Chinchilla.

Two Mimis in my office laughed their fool heads off at that one.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

More Cathedral Pics








Thanks, Steve, for the camera. I can hardly wait to use it in Italy!






Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Some Children See Him

Some children see Him lily white,
the baby Jesus born this night.
Some children see Him lily white,
with tresses soft and fair.
Some children see Him bronzed and brown,
The Lord of heav'n to earth come down.
Some children see Him bronzed and brown,
with dark and heavy hair.

Some children see Him almond-eyed,
this Savior whom we kneel beside.
some children see Him almond-eyed,
with skin of yellow hue.
Some children see Him dark as they,
sweet Mary's Son to whom we pray.
Some children see him dark as they,
and, ah! they love Him, too!

The children in each different place
will see the baby Jesus' face
like theirs, but bright with heavenly grace,
and filled with holy light.
O lay aside each earthly thing
and with thy heart as offering,
come worship now the infant King.
'Tis love that's born tonight!

Monday, December 03, 2007

Advent 1 Meditation



I have posted this before - but it is a favorite of mine.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mrs. Unfortunate Sharpie Girl

Dawn asked me last night about USG and her nuptials. I am ashamed to report that no one from the office went to the wedding.

No. One.

I am now wracked with guilt. Yes, I know that I wasn't in town and so forth, but still:

No. One. Went.

If I could find out where she is registered I would go pick her up the silver sugar cube tongs that I feel sure are on the list. More than likely she is registered at AutoZone and I am not really sure of the etiquette surrounding purchasing wedding gifts from that establishment. Do you go for the pine tree shaped auto fragrance or the pink fuzzy steering wheel cover? Are there implications tied to either of those that I am not aware of and would I be make a huge social gaffe?

Help me out here people.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Herry ThanXmas

Wow.

That trip was a fast and furious one. I felt like I didn't get to spend near enough time with anyone...although having Theo spend two nights was a hoot!

Thank you my wonderful friends and family for a great time; from dinner with Granny and Clay to belting out I Got You Babe with my sistah, it was all fabulous.

Next week is advent and I will be posting a weekly thought/meditation/video/whatever strikes my fancy. I hope that you enjoy them because I have had a lovely time gathering them together!

I love you all....

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Of course I am

You Are a Yellow Crayon
Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors.You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius.Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way.While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme.
Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Just so you know

I desparately want one of these.

Friday, November 16, 2007

She's baaaaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkk!

Remember Unfortunate Sharpie Girl? And how she uses Sharpies for her eyeliner? Well she has decided NO MORE SHARPIES. Apparently she has been out sick with a raging eye infection (I told her that would happen) during which all of her eyelashes fell out. This put quite a damper of her plans to be married (on her Harley wearing pink chaps) on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

I
offered her my Lucy lashes, but I felt that I had to warn her that they are really heavy and it is really hard to get the glue off.

Her reply was that perhaps if she used Super Glue she wouldn't have to worry about them.

Hmmm.... You have no eyelashes because you used a freakin sharpie as eyeliner and now you want to glue on fake eyelashes with Superglue.

I got nothin' for ya.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I need an explanation

There are many things that I don't understand.

For instance:

how airplanes stay up in the air
the need for an ostrich's neck to be that long
why I have not yet won the lottery (OK - other than the fact that I never buy a ticket)

But what I really don't get is this crazy fascination with O.J. WHY do we care what this nut is doing? Do I really need to be able to watch his court appearance online?

It's the same with Britney. Do I really need to watch this poor wretch self-implode?

Please explain this to me. I have a feeling that explaining the whole airplane thing might be easier.

Monday, November 12, 2007

The Plan

Here is the plan as I know it:

Tuesday - Steve and Ann arrive in Oklahoma City at approximately 8:00 p.m. CST.

Wednesday Day- Finish any last minute shopping etc. Andrea has mentioned that the zoo has free admission that day, so anyone who wants to partake of that is certainly welcome to do so.

Wednesday Evening - Dinner with Granny and Clay! At this point I think we are leaning toward somewhere in Bricktown, but I do not know that for a fact. Updates will be posted as received.

Thursday - Eat turkey until our eyeballs fall out. Put our eyeballs back in and watch football.

Friday at Noon - Christmas with the Allens and the Dads

Saturday morning - Steve and Ann leave in the morning to return to Maryland.

The end.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Some pictures to share

No Babes In Maryland - check Abby's Blog for those!



I love to take pictures at the National Cathedral. All I have is a digital camera, nothing fancy schmancy, but I like to see what I can capture. This picture was taken with full on flash



This one was taken with my finger over the flash because I couldn't figure out how to turn it off!



This is the statue of Jesus outside the Children's Chapel. I love that His hands are gold because all of the children who have held His hand as they have gone by!



Here's a close up of the right hand. Interesting that there is a dark spot in the center of the palm.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Oh me! Oh my! What a lot of funny things went by!

If Erin ever tells you that she can't sing she is fibbing. That girl can ROCK That's the Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia. The dramatic whispering on the part about the blood on the sheriff's hands was the icing on the cake. I could hardly hear her because Abby and I were screaming with laughter at that point!

Saturday we hit Alexandria, National Cathedral, Chevy Chase, Ikea, and all points in between. Steve was a trooper - and it was on HIS birthday!!

Steve did "get some of his own back," as Eliza Doolittle would say, on Sunday when he delivered the sermon and made everyone cry.

Then Abby, Erin and I went to H & M which was a complete bust. BOO H&M. but we were able to twirl on the Metro and share our fabulousness with the unwashed masses of DC.

Sunday evening after a relaxing glass of wine or three, Erin again entertained us with her musical stylings of "This Little Light of Mine." Apparently Abby had never heard the verse about Don't let Satan Blow It Out! Our musical horizons were indeed broadened. Betty, David, Sue, and Mike arrived for dinner and the fun really began. David called Steve the next day to tell him that his jaw and ribs hurt from laughing so much! And since he is the priest we are all absolved!!!

We slept in Monday morning and then off to Annapolis for lunch at Phillips! The crabcakes were YUM-O! Then, sadly, Erin and Abby had to be at the airport.

So much fun my little friends...and so many quotes to be listed by Abby!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

It ain't easy bein' Lucy

I kid you not - I still have eyelash glue stuck on my eyelids. They should put the space suttle together with that stuff....

Last night we had two trick or treaters. The fact that we ducked out and went out to eat could have be a direct correlation. Just a guess.

I did manage, in spite of glued shut eyes and such, to cut out a plaid skirt. it will be made on the bias and I worked really really hard to make sure all the plaids matched at the seams. The fabric is a wool blend that is brown, tan and teal. Since it is wool, I am facing the waist band with wide grosgrain ribbon (a little trick I learned from a buddy). And yes, I will remember to hang it for a few days prior to heming it so it won't be wonky.

And since Erin and Abby get bere tomorrow, I have a feeling it will be next week before I even think about this skirt.

Pray for Steve in the hour of his need.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Hope your Halloween is a stinky delight!




This charming fellow is the nephew of a friend of mine. And his name is Oscar.

I thought this picture was such a hoot I decided to share with the free world. He is almost as cute as Theo. And that, my friends, is saying something.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Not so much sewing....

"Good intentions are are like screaming children - they should be carried out immediately."

A wise priest told me this once.

The same goes for planning to sew. Once you plan on it you should do it immediately before you get sucked into CSI re-runs or the fabulous new book you are reading (The Thirteenth Story). Then when you want to wear your new creation for a possible twirl through DC with your cute husband you can.

Sigh

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Sewing and Sewing and more Sewing



It seems that the free world as we know it is making this pattern! Every blog I visit is doing this jacket and they are all so amazing and different. Awesome fabric choices that I would have never thought of, but all incredible! Mine is black and beige tweed. I need to put the collar on and I will be finished.

The perfect pants are: perfect! I should nevre buy another pair of pants as long as I live - I should just whip some up from my perfectly customized pattern. Now I need to find the perfect skirt and my life will be complete.

I finished a darling pink and brown dog carrier for my friend Nicole. Her mom has a new "morkie" (half Manchester terrier, half Yorkie) named "Cuddles." Nicole is giving her the carrier for her mother's birthday. Instead of putting a zipper on the end, I put pink ribbons to be tied and untied. It is pretty stinking cute if I may say so myself. Very "Ooh La La!"

Shhhh....I don't have a meeting tonight or tomorrow night. Maybe I can get my jacket finished!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Nunsense is habit forming

Yes my little friends it is true: Sister Mary Amnesia will be coming to stay with us for a while again. This coming May, four of my friends and I will be performing "Nunsense" at our little parish as a dinner theatre/fund raiser.

I shall reprise my role of the poor nun who had a crucifix fall on her head and cannot remember who she really is. My only regret is that I will not have my favorite "line girl" at every rehearsal this time.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Behold my terrible wonderfulness - I conquered the zipper!

After a CSI re-run and some quality tummy scratching time with Bob (for the record, his tummy got scratched), I did some deep breathing exercises and faced my foe.

It was really no match for me as I had reached a completely zen-like state and could not be defeated.

Pictures shall be forth coming after I put the waist band on.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Sewing + Tiredness = Disaster

Last night I went to my perfect pants class. I had cut out my green wool plaid pants and perfectly matched the plaids. The darts in said pants were a vision of perfection, if I may say so myself, and the seat of said pants doesn't look like I am wearing a diaper that has, well...shall we say a full load, in the back.

Then came the zipper. The gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair was legendary in their proportions.

First, I put the freakin zipper up the side of one of the pant legs.. At the bottom of the leg. And it was really a shame because I had inserted said invisible zipper perfectly. Then I put the darn thing in in side out.

After ripping it out for the third time I decided just to watch everyone else and turn my sewing machine off.

Tomorrow is another day - and I shall conquer that zipper after a nice long nap!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

La Problem was La BOMB

OK - the dinner and everything went off well, but the play SUCKED.

The director/writer/God's Gift to the Theatrical World was so rude to everyone that several people who were volunteering walked. She was even rude to my beloved husband (and how can anyone be rude to someone as fabulous as he!?!?!?). She was so rude that the church where it was held said that they will never do it again if she is in any way associated with it. WOW KIDS. You gotta be pretty crappy to piss a church off.

The food was incredible: salmon on cedar planks, lime marinated chicken, bison rib eye, and sausage stuffed quail were the entrees. The vegetables ranged from wild rice pilaf to bacon wrapped roasted pumpkin with gingerbread butternut squash, greens, and whipped celeriac root in between. For dessert there was apple cobbler, apple bread pudding and apple caramel cheese cake. The desserts were served off of a big apple cart(CUTE), and in the middle of the room was a fountain that a local business had donated for the silent auction.

The only problem was La Play. It made absolutely no sense, it was too long, it was LAME, and the actors had only received it the day before. The cast did a fabulous job with what they were given, but, alas, it was sucky.

Dear Jesus,

Thank for letting this all be over now.

Love,

Ann

Thursday, October 11, 2007

La Problem in La Plata

This is the name of the dinner theatre production that will be our HUGE fundraiser on Saturday night. To be clear, I hate the name. It started out as "Wild About Harry," which I thought was much better.

Anyway, I will be running around like a chicken with its head cut off this week-end. If you cannot find me it is because I am hiding under a blanket in the back of my car.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Behold the Trench Coat



I have not sewn the buttons on, but here it is!

I am feeling a little better - at least I am sleeping at night. Ready for all things work related to be over and done with!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I am a Phoenix

You Are a Phoenix

Driven and ambitious, you tend to acquire material success easily.
You have grand schemes - both for your own life and for changing the whole world.
You are a great leader, and you have no problem taking the reigns.
However, you aren't all business. You also have great talents for performing and visual arts.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

My Christmas List

1. Covet perfume by Sarah Jessica Parker

2. Gift Certificate to G Street Fabrics

3. Gift Certificate to iTunes so I can load my iPod before the big Italy trip!!!

I am just putting these things out there as I think of them. I am sure there will be more to come!

Monday, October 01, 2007

A personal message to Theo


MiMi is sending books with Grandpa.
The other one is "Skippyjon Jones and the Big Bones." I couldn't find a picture of it, but I think you will like it. Make Grandpa sing all the songs and dance the dance with you.

Dance Through Monday

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Let the games begin

Mercer Mayer of the famed "Little Critter" Books will be there. I hoping that I can score some signed books for Theodorable!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Have passport-will travel

I am now able to jet off into the sunset at the drop of a hat to any exotic location my husband would care to take me. I have a passport.

I know many of you have had a passport for many years, but I did not get one until the ripe ol' age of 46.

I hope it was worth waiting for....

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The one where I have a sinus infection

I have a sinus infection. How do I know? Because there was a pediatrician in my office today and she was kind enough to diagnose me. The perks of working where I work are never ending. I did not have to take sick leave to go to the doctor, nor did I have to pay a co-pay.

But a sinus infection has set up house keeping in my schnoz and I am not so happy about it. AND I have a prescribed nose spray. Have you ever done that whole nose spray thing? It is quite surprising the first time. So much that I really do not want to do it again. However, I am not willing for my head to explode so the nose spray is the lesser of the two evils.

I also was prescribed some antibiotics and something to make me cough.

Precious.

I am a schnoz leaking, coughing, pile of happiness.

Maybe I will be better by the week-end so I can attend the National Book Fair on the mall!!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Brotherly love

Ayatollah Mugsy has welcomed a new brother, Wendell, into his home. The picture at right is our beloved Ayatollah teaching Wendell the fine art of looking absolutely adorable.

Mission accomplished.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

WOO HOO! Adam is home!

For any of those of you who have not heard: Adam is home from Iraq!!! Back in the good ol' U S of A and ready to head back to Oklahoma!

His crazy brother John got a Mohawk over the week-end. Thankfully his hair grows out pretty quickly so hopefully that will be a thing of the past very soon!

I am busily sewing away. Last night I went to a class on how to make the perfect pair of pants. We took copious amounts of measurements, so I am back on the Weight Watchers wagon this morning. It is going to be a very interesting class and I am excited about the end product.

I am also working on a swing jacket. These seem to be the "in" thing right now. I took a pattern and modified it by cutting 4 inches off the bottom and replacing it with a (VERY loosely gathered) ruffle. I also took of 10 inches of the sleeve and put a 4 inch (VERY loosely gathered) ruffle on the bottom of each sleeve. I tried to draw a picture for you, but it turned out looking like a Santa Suit Jacket. NOT the look I am going for, let me assure you! I will just have to take a picture for you.

The trench coat is being taken to the cleaners to be pressed. As soon as it returns in all it's fabulous-ness, I will take a picture and post it.

The whole having to work thing is really cutting into my sewing time....

Monday, September 17, 2007

Saturday, September 15, 2007

It's Fair Time across the land!

My beloved Teeb is off to a discernment week-end. He will have to blog on exactly what that is because I am at a complete loss as to how to explain it.

While he is off discerning, I am left to my own devices. I always have such grand plans of whipping up an outfit, a quilt, a tote bag, or all of the above. I usually lie in the middle of the bed with Bob watching CSI reruns (because face it: we have all seen all of the Law and Order reruns ever made). This trip is no different.

However, I am going to sally forth this morning in solidarity with my sistah and mother and attend the County Fair. I realize it is not as great as the Great State Fair of OK-lahoma (I do hope they brought that back instead of the silly change they made before I left), but it is all I have here in the cultural wasteland of Southern Maryland.

And I need to walk off those 6 dozen Cream Filled Donuts I ate in my car yesterday.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Today is National Cream Filled Donut Day

I celebrated this most auspicious day by purchasing 4 dozen of the darling fat pills for my office. The girl at the counter at Dunkin' Donuts asked me if I was purchasing them for my office. I told her, "No I am going to eat them in my car."

I think she believed me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

This does seem just a tad excessive

Football Rivalry at Center of Bar Fight
By SEAN MURPHY, Associated Press Writer
1 hour ago

OKLAHOMA CITY - To some Oklahoma football fans, there are things that just aren't done in the heart of Sooner Nation, and one of them is to walk into a bar wearing a Texas Longhorns T-shirt.

That's exactly what touched off a bloody skirmish that left a Texas-shirt-wearing fan nearly castrated and an Oklahoma fan facing aggravated assault charges that could put him in prison for up to five years.

The shocking case has set off a raging debate in this football-crazed region about the extreme passions behind a bitter rivalry. Some legal observers have even questioned whether this case could ever truly have an impartial jury.

"I've actually heard callers on talk radio say that this guy deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country," said Irven Box, an attorney in this city 20 miles from Oklahoma's campus in Norman.

According to police, 32-year-old Texas fan Brian Christopher Thomas walked into Henry Hudson's Pub on June 17 wearing a Longhorns T-shirt and quickly became the focus of football "trash talk" from another regular, 53-year-old Oklahoma fan Allen Michael Beckett.

Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn't let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.

"He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body," said Thomas' attorney, Carl Hughes. "He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse."

It took more than 60 stitches to close the wound, and police interviewed Thomas at a nearby hospital emergency room.

Beckett's attorney, Billy Bock, concedes that his client commented about Thomas' shirt, but said it was just good-natured ribbing and that he apologized to Thomas when it appeared to upset the Texas fan. Later, Bock said Thomas approached his client at the bar and threatened him.

"My client is a little man, and this guy (Thomas) is 30 to 40 pounds bigger than him," Bock said. "He's bigger, stronger, younger and probably faster, and he aggressively leaned in and touched my client and threatened to beat him up. ... My guy was defending himself and just took control of the situation."

Thomas' attorney disputes Beckett's version.

"That's total malarkey," Hughes said. "My client never said a word to him. He got up to pay and when he paid and left a tip, the guy grabbed him."

Beckett, a 53-year-old church deacon, federal auditor and former Army combat veteran, has pleaded not guilty. His next court appearance comes Oct. 4, two days before the Sooners and Horns tangle in their annual football game at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.

Thomas, who once lived in Houston and became a Texas fan during the heyday of star running back Earl Campbell, is still recovering from his injuries but has returned to work as a meat cutter at a Sam's Club warehouse store.

Like Beckett and Thomas, many fans of the two college squads never attended either university, but have come to identify so closely with these teams that they attach banners to their cars, wear team colors on game day and even have programmed their car horns to play school fight songs.

Dallas police Sgt. Andy Harvey, a 12-year veteran of the force, said it's not uncommon for fights to break out between fans of the two schools.

"People are passionate about their teams and their universities, and that's a good thing," he said, "but when you mix a real passionate sports fan and then get a little alcohol in there, sometimes it's not a good mix."

On both Texas and Oklahoma fan Web sites, boosters trade familiar tales of having their car tires slashed or windshields smashed for sporting the opposing team's sticker in enemy territory.

Assistant District Attorney Scott Rowland said the rivalry will have no bearing on the way the case is prosecuted.

"It appears that it played a part in the fight," he said, "but that won't play any more of a role in our handling of the case than would a fight over a girl or a car or a song on the jukebox."

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

I have lost my posting mojo.

Sad but true. I was able to regale you with tales of Unfortunate Sharpie Girl and random bra fitting muggings, but now I am bereft of such fascinating stories.

Unfortunate Sharpie Girl is getting married. I have no idea the exact date. I think it is whenever they can get both Harleys running since the nuptials will take place on said machines. I can tell you that she is wearing pink chaps and the couple is planning on having each other's names tattooed on their ring fingers. Good thing since we know where her other tattoos are,

My last trench coat class is tomorrow night and then I start a class on how to make the perfect pair of pants. Steve took me to G Street Fabrics Sunday where I purchased some lovely olive wool at 50% off to make my first pair. It is a five week course so I am anticipating great things. I also purchased some beautiful rust jersey to make a top to go with the hunter green-rust-gold print that I am going to whip into a skirt this week-end. Did I mention that Steve will be out of town? Look for me in the sewing room...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Dance through Monday

I am inspired

Monday, September 03, 2007

Justifiable Homocide



It is stunts like this that make me want to kill my darling husband - if he lives through the stunt that is.

He is changing he air fliter conveniently located behind the armoir. I wasn't sure whether to scream at him or laugh so I just took his picture.

Don't Dance through the Day!

It's a holiday - savor every last minute!

We are back from Ohio - Bus is doing much better than we anticipated. He is almost able to get in and out of bed by himself.

On the way back, we stopped in Hagerstown at the outlet mall. That must have been a really popular idea since the entire population of Maryland was there!

Have a safe, lazy, Labor Day!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Monday, August 27, 2007

BAD JUDGEMENT!?!?!?!?

"I made a mistake of using bad judgment and making bad decisions. Those things just can’t happen. Dogfighting is a terrible thing, and I do reject it.” Thus sayeth Michael Vick.

Bad judgement is wearing panty hose with sandles.
Bad judgement is thinking that you can park your 16 passenger van in a spot that would only fit a Mini Cooper.
Bad judgement is cooking that chicken that has been in the 'frig for 2 weeks.

But let us pause and thank God that Mr. Vick "do reject it." I feel much better for his passionate assurance of that.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Color my Aura RED!

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage.
Usually, you don't take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation - and it works!

The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventures

Famous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez

Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon


Boxer - now there's a profession I hadn't thought of before

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Friday, August 17, 2007

Become a charter member of BUTTS

I am forming a new organization: BUTTS (Babes United to Tout Shoes). I have been a BUTTS for many years now and want to give you the opportunity to be a BUTTS too.

One of our missions will be to stop the abuse against shoes. You know what I am talking about: shoving your size 12 EEEE shoe into an 8 narrow, refusing to polish your shoes, wearing shoes that wish they had never been made because they are so ugly (you know who you are), etc.

One of the cruelest things I have seen in many a shoe watching day is the BMW commercial where the woman saws off the heel of her Prada pump so she can drive the car unencumbered by said heel. HELLO?!?! They make shoes specifically for driving (hence the name "Driving Moccasin"). Why in the name of all that is Holy would you deface a Prada Pump in that manner?

We must move quickly against BMW before the unwashed masses think that this is appropriate behaviour toward shoes.

Join me this Saturday at your nearest BMW dealer. Make signs that say catchy slogans such as "Drive a Beamer? You're a wiener!" and the like.

Do not let this monstrosity against shoes continue. They are counting on us.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

How appropriate




You're Catch-22!

by Joseph Heller

Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you
see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense
of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an
ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You
could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
people.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Dance through Monday

For whatever reason, this cracked me up today.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Thursday, August 09, 2007

More Lyrics

Barbara Ann
I think it is supposed to be: Went to a dance looking for romance, saw Barbara Ann and I thought I would take a chance.

What I sing: Went to a dance looking for romance, saw Barbara Ann and I thought I wet my pants.

Son of a Preacher Man
What they are:The only boy that could ever reach me was the son of a preacher man.

What I sing: The only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a pizza man.

Livin' La Vida
What they are: Her lips are devil red.
What I sing: Her lips are deviled eggs.

Just exposing you to more of my musical stylings

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Unfortunate Sharpie Girl Engaged

Yep, it is true: Unfortunate Sharpie Girl is getting hitched. She does not have an engagement ring because they are going to get each other's names tattooed on their ring fingers. She did tell me that she wants the wedding to be really "classy." I have no idea what that means but I am hoping that it means that she will wear undergarments. No guarantee there.

She has assured me that I will be invited. It is to be an afternoon wedding so a tea length frock with appropriate hat will be in order. Did I mention that the reception is at Apehangers? Yes, They are having a pig roast at Apehangers following the nuptials. I suppose I will have to remove my gloves to eat at the reception.

I can't wait to meet her parents

Monday, August 06, 2007

I LOVE THESE SHOES



It seemed to work for Erin - just thought I would throw it out there.

If you have a serious need to spend this much I wear a size 8.

Dance through Monday

You probably have all seen this a bajillion times. I don't care - it fascinates me every time.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

New Obsession


This dress (bottom left view) out of this fabric. You can see the pattern better if you click on it to enlarge it.



The fabric is wool. After looking around at the available options to wear ths fall, I will be making most of my clothes this year. I am taking a class on how to get the correct fit etc of everything next month so I can make everything to fit me.

This fall's wardrobe will be mostly plums etc. That is, if I can find the fabric I have already in my pea pickin' brain. With the internet I don't even have to go out of my house to shop for it. Too bad that I have to work to support my sewing habit.

Friday, August 03, 2007

What are you doing?

What I am:

Listening to

reading

sewing

horrified by.

(just click on the words and you should go to the sites that answer these burning questions.)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Today is National Ice Cream Sandwich Day!



I really don't have to tell you how to celebrate do I?

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Dance through Monday

Yes, I know I am posting it early - I just have a feeling I will be busy tomorrow morning ;-)

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Interesting....


You are a Dreamer

Your combination of abstract thinking, appreciation of beauty, and cautiousness makes you a DREAMER.

You often imagine how things could be better, and you have very specific visions of this different future.

Beauty and style are important to you, and you have a discerning eye when it comes to how things look.

Although you often think more broadly, you prefer comfort to adventure, choosing to stay within the boundaries of your current situation.

Your preferences for artistic works are very refined, although you vastly prefer some types and styles to others.

Though your dreams are quite vivid, you are cautious in following up on them.

You are aware of both your positive and negative qualities, so that your ego doesn't get in your way.

A sense of vulnerability sometimes holds you back, stifling your creative tendencies.

You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

If you want to be different:

Your imagination is a wonderful asset, but don't just dream—be bold enough to take action and explore new things!

Consider a wider range of details and possibilities when thinking about the present and the future—don't be too set in your ways.


How you relate to others:
You are Animated

You are outgoing, comfortable with others, and up for anything, which makes you ANIMATED.

Some people find crowds and parties exhausting, but not you! You are able to be yourself in many situations.

Sometimes it is hard for you to understand why others feel the way they do, but that doesn't stop you from trusting them or having faith that they are good people.

You know the world is complicated and that there is often more than one side to a story, so you are careful not to make judgments about others too hastily.

You would rather experience the world than sit back and observe it—you are not one to sit on the sidelines.

You are an independent thinker and don't get too worried about how others might perceive you—you are not self-conscious about being the active, engaged person that you are.

Although you have a keen understanding of different people's life circumstances, you occasionally have trouble seeing why people get so upset and emotional about things—they should just lighten up and have fun!

In addition to having faith in the world, you have faith in the people around you—you trust others to do the right thing and to be honest.


If you want to be different:

Remember that time alone can be just as fulfilling as time spent with others—take some time for yourself and you might find that there are many things in your inner world that are just as compelling as the world outside your window.

Your open-mindedness about the ways of world gives you an understanding of people's differences, but that knowledge doesn't always translate into sympathy. Don't be afraid to let your trust and understanding influence your feelings.

The week of the Dog is over.

I blogged about dancing dogs, Blue dogs, sleeping dogs, but mostly HOT DOGS!

I have been to WaWa and had one of their finest quarter pound all beef red hots and I think I have had my fix for a day or two.

Friday, July 27, 2007

One more lyric

I heard this on the radio this morning. I probably have never really listed to Celine Dion before (not a big fan), but, by gosh, if she is going to sing about Hot Dogs I am running out and getting every single one of her freakin' CD's (almost said "albums" there and really aged myself).

The real lyrics were:
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.

But I hear them as:
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the hot dogs go on.

No matter how you say it, it means YUM-O!



Perrito Caliento - Spanish
Panino con wurstel - Italian
xot-Aor - Russian
varmkorv - Swedish
cao quente - Portugese
XOT VTOYK - Greek

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Legend of the Blue Dog - A Little History from Our Part of the World.

By most accounts and local lore, the spirit of a large blue dog protects his murdered master's treasure, buried somewhere on Rose Hill Road outside Port Tobacco. According to Rose Hill Road resident Charles Stuart, whose property contains the fabled rock that Blue Dog and his master were killed on, the first written account of the Blue Dog legend dates back to 1897, when his home's former owner, Olivia Floyd who was a former agent for the Confederacy during the Civil War, told the Maryland Independent she had seen the ghost of the Blue Dog.

Although he hasn't seen the ghost of Blue Dog on February 8 in the 20 years he has lived on Rose Hill Road, Stuart, "doesn't doubt" the accounts of that date following the Revolutionary War, when Charles Thomas Sims, a soldier, and his dog were killed on Rose Hill Road while returning from a Port Tobacco Tavern.

Stuart said that Henry Hanos of Port Tobacco killed Sims and his dog for his gold and a deed to an estate. Hanos then buried the gold and deed under a holly tree along Rose Hill Road. When Hanos returned to recover the treasure, he was scared away by the ghost of Blue Dog and then fell ill, before suddenly dying. To this day, Blue Dog continues to watch over his slain master's treasure.


Charles Stuart goes to our church, and the holly tree in the story is on the way to church. As is the Blue Dog Saloon which, fortunately, I have never been in. I spend my free time in Hooters and Apehangers

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

In Case the Lights Go Out in Georgia...or anywhere else for that matter.

Solar Hot Dog Cooker

This project is for older students or for younger students with adult supervision. (Translation: Steve would probably have to help me with this.)

A reflective hot dog cooker can be built from a cardboard box, tin foil, and posterboard. Sunlight hits the reflective surface and focuses on the hot dog held in the center.

A cardboard box
tin foil
posterboard


Select a long narrow box; the longer the box the more heat collection is possible. Choose a focal length between 5" and 10" and design a parabolic curve as seen in the picture. One template could be used for all the cookers. Trace the curve on the open end of the box so that it is centered and straight.

Cut out the curve with a utility knife. Stress the importance of being exact. Measure and cut a piece of posterboard that will fix flush against the opening to the box. Attach this with tape beginning at the center and working toward to edges.
Cover the curve with white glue and apply aluminum foil shiny side out. Start in the middle and smooth toward the edges. Try not to wrinkle or fold the foil; you want it as smooth as possible.

Use two scraps of cardboard taped to each side as supports. Using the sun or a projector light, test the focal point. There should be a bright spot where light is concentrated; mark this spot and punch a hole for the skewer. Use a section of a coat hanger from which the paint has been removed for a skewer.

Enjoy your hot dog!

GROOVY! Now all I have to do is figure out what the hell a parabolic curve is!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Memories.....

They do tend to conk out.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Again with the hot dogs



For the low low bargain basement price of just $35 you can get this hot dog cooker that barks when your hot dogs are done.

I know - I am aghast as well

Dance through Monday

Bob and I do a mean Samba

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Wild about Harry

I have brought an end to my family's secret shame: I have read Harry Potter.

Not all of them, mind you. The first three. I have to admit my favorite line is in the first one when Harry asks Hagrid the difference between a stalagmite and an stalactite and Hagrid says that stalagmite's got an "m" in it. That made me laugh out loud, thus securing Hagrid's place on the list of favorites.

I am tired of Draco Malfoy and ready for him to be zapped into the oblivion. Snape is also on my last nerve and either needs to redeem himself or begone.

Steve has Youth Group this afternoon so I am planning on reading book 4.

I shall let you know what I think.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

One down

I finished the first one last night. Quite entertaining!

Steve has this to say about the whole Harry Potter phenom.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Forgot one



The real lyrics are
I can see all obstacles in my way.

But I sing them as
I can see an octopus in my way.

Because, of course, you have to have a hot dog octopus in your shark soup. Again with the food references.

P.S. there is a site that charges $17 freakin' dollars to turn your hot dog into an octodog. Part of me is absolutely horrified that one could spend $17 dollars on such things. Part of me really wants one.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Gauntlet has been thrown down



Big Al (Allyson Hills) has dared me to read the Harry Potter Books. Clearly she does not know the hell she hath wrought.
Poor Steve absolutely hates it when I read because I become zombie-esque with precious little interaction other than to surface for food and water. The freakin' ceiling could fall down and I would not notice.

But, I have been dared and so read Harry Potter I shall! If you do not hear from me until next Wednesday it's because I am in the throes of the adventures of Harry and friends.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Confession

Sometimes I make up lyrics to songs. And then sometimes I can't remember the original words unless I think about it really, really, hard.

For example:

"Michael row your boat ashore" in my mind is
"My goat knows the bowling score"

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (from Lady Marmalade) is a lot more fun as
"View a cookie shade in a pot, say what?"

"Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" makes ever so much more sense as
"Sugar fried bunny guts"

"She's got a ticket to ride..and she don't care" to me is the same thing as
"She's got a chicken to hide...and it's in her hair!"

I have a bajillion more but I will spare you - I really want to find out what lyrics YOU make up!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Thank you - no.

MADRID - Women in the northern Spanish city of Pamplona, world-famous for its ferocious bull-running festival, are demanding their own version complete with cows instead of bulls.

A student website, www.estudiln.net, set the ball rolling with its campaign "Cows want to run" which asks for a separate encierro, as the bull-runs are known, where only women are allowed to take part.

Women have been allowed to take part in the San Fermin bull-running for some years but they still represent a tiny minority of the thousands of runners who attempt to dodge 600-kilo bulls along an 800-metre course through the streets of Pamplona.

With my luck there would be cows with guns.

But it does open up new shoe purchasing vistas - I am sure that there is a pair of shoes made just for this type of event. I will research that and get back with you...

Monday, July 16, 2007

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Steve's challenge

According to all of these tests, I am a ham sandwich who is 20% Democrat 20% Republican who was born the same year as JFK Jr. and Jeffrey Dahlmer, and who should be living in Dublin.

That explains so much.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Only accurate about the throwing things

You Are Rock

Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.
People know they can't push you around, and they respect that.
Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.
You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

You don't mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

If someone makes you mad: You're likely to throw something at them


I doubt that I am intimidating. My children laugh with scorn when I try to flex my motherly muscles and are clearly not intimidated.

Deep down I am a quivering mass of Jello.

I do not think deeply about much. I am pretty much as deep as a frisbee.

I do tend to have a nasy habit of throwing shoes when I am mad....but I haven't done that in AGES!!

Phyllis fractures her back!



I have a theme song, a mascot, and a crest. My personal hero (other than my sistah) is shown above. These woman has been my idol since childhood, a fact my family with confirm with dismay and bemusement. Phyllis has twisted her back and is unable to celebrate her 90th birthday by appearing on Leno. I am crushed.

Let's gather round, light our imaginary cigarettes at the end of our imaginary 3 foot cigarette holder, and make snarky comments in her honor.

It's the least we can do.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Just some things I need to share

Do motorcycle riders who wear their pants so low that we can see their bottom ever think about getting a sunburn? I cannot imagine that a sunburned butt would be comfortable at all.

Do I really need soft armpits? I know we discussed sparkly armpits, but now I am being told that my underarms need to be soft. However will I light my match for my Camel if my armpits are soft?

Is there a rehab place for everything now? Drink too much - go to rehab. Drugs - rehab. But racial and/or sexual preference slurs rehab? I think I need to know exactly how they "rehabilitate" you. Twelve step program? Electric shock therapy? I just don't get how you "fix" that.

This will not go over well with my parental units: I think Ann Coulter needs to be spanked and sent to her room. And she needs to come up with another look than the perpetual black cocktail dress and that nasty long hair.

Why do we give a flying flip what Rosie thinks? I don't, but the news is full of Rosie and/or Paris who is equally obnoxious. Maybe we should lock Rosie and Ann Coulter in a room and whoever is left standing wins. There's some rehab for ya.

Just some things that have been banging around in my head that I decided to let out.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Of cabbages and Kings

Here is the quote of the day:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

I shall not post the picture of the Walrus and the Carpenter eating the oysters because it always made Erin sad that the Oysters were eaten in the end. Especially after trusting said Walrus and Carpenter.

And I think it still might.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A grand time on Pennsylvania

We had a grand a glorious time in Lancaster County yesterday. As soon as I can compile my photos, I will post a pictorial essay of our adventures.

For now, I have regressed somewhat in the healing process and I am going back to bed.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Is there a difference between "y'all" and "you all"?

In my mind, yes.

I am a firm hater of "you people." Probably from Hertz days of hearing how "you people" (meaning me) are going to "fix this or else." Followed by other craziness which I shall detail another day. And I can get where "you all" can kind of get snotty too.

But y'all?

Sweet little "y'all"? As in "Would y'all like some iced tea?" or the plural "Do all y'all want iced tea?" No. Not snotty I don't care what these cranky yankees say.

And most of 'em walk around here lookin' like the Grapes of Wrath anyway, bless their hearts.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I am on a freakin' roll

I entered a contest through a local radio station and today I was notified that I have wone tickets to see Molly Hatchett.

Too bad that I plan to be flossing Bob's teeth the date and time of the concert.

But I gave the tickets to Unfortunate Sharpie Girls and she is absolutely giddy with delight.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Great News Sports Fans!

Takeru Kobayashi is no longer able to compete in the Nathan's Famous hot dog eating competition. Apparently, he has arthritis in his jaw which prevents him from opeining his mouht wide enough to consume massive quantities of the gourmet delights. Last year he wolfed down an incredible 53 3/4 hot dogs in 12 minutes.

Perhaps there is hope for me now that he is out of the running.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Saturday, June 23, 2007

In case you need a personal mascot

My friend Jerry sent me this and it is quite funny. If I did not already have a personal mascot I would all over this like a duck on a junebug.

Clearly, we cannot be trusted at an auction.

Remember when I accidently won a wine refrigerator? Last night Steve and I went to a function where we had the opportunity to fill said 'frig.

I would like the record to reflect that Steve began the whole thing and then I took it upon myself to hover over the bid sheet threatening to cut people if they made a bid. It was not one of my better sides, but it ended up being a very effective winning strategy, should you ever need to use it.

At the end of the evening, we brought home 15 bottles of wine, a cool cheese/cutting board, a little doo daa that you can write your menu on and display for your guests to see (because that is so me), and a lovely pewter wine caddy.

I thought we got out for $200, but turns out it was really $245. And I had to promise all those people that I was going to cut that they could come over and help us drink it.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Missing: My sense of humor

Let's just get it out there: I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. So much so that my sense of humor has decided that I am no fun and has taken a vacation just to get away from me.

Unfortunate Sharpie Girl spent 30 minutes in my office yesterday and I cannot even muster the will to recreate that whole crazy mess.

If you see my sense of humor please send it home. I miss it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007



Here we are after a wild day on the golf course. The weather was perfect and the National Floral team won!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

My bone density results are back

And it appears that I have Osteopenia.

Osteopenia refers to bone mineral density (BMD) that is lower than normal peak BMD but not low enough to be classified as osteoporosis. Bone mineral density is a measurement of the level of minerals in the bones, which indicates how dense and strong they are. If your BMD is low compared to normal peak BMD, you are said to have osteopenia. Having osteopenia means there is a greater risk that, as time passes, you may develop BMD that is very low compared to normal, known as osteoporosis.

The method of treatment is lifestyle changes. In other words, I have to start taking calcium, vitamin D, magnesium, and doing weight bearing exercises. The most disturbing thing that I have found is that there is a link between cola consumption and osteoperosis. As we all know, I love a good Diet Coke on the hour every hour! Looks like I will be working to rid myself of the cola monkey on my back.

The doctor does not think that this is the cause of my ribs, shingles or any other weird thing that has been going on lately. I am glad that all that happened so now I can take the appropriate measures to slow down bone loss

Erin, Andrea, Abby, and Allyson - put down that Diet Coke and drink a glass of milk!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

An afternoon at the salon

Went to have my hair cut this afternoon and was amazed and amused at the conversations going on.

My favorite was the cute little stylist trying to convince her client, a portly woman of about 58, 273 pounds, with windshields for glasses that perhaps a haircut "just like Posh Spice's" would not be the best look on her. I am ashamed to admit that my stylist and I laughed until we snorted.

Then there was the woman whose hair was, literally, past her waist. She will only cut the front - read: mullet - because her sister tells her that long hair makes her look younger. That might have been true 25 years ago when she might have been actually young. But when you tell your stylist that you have to use three boxes of dye to keep it jet black, it's just way way too much.

One more woman, who I know from quilting, was talking about her trip to Europe. She and her husband go about every 6 weeks. They have more money than the legal limit and they are the absolute nicest people ever. When she talks about her trips, you don't begrudge her those adventures because she speaks of her adventures with such enthusiasm as if it were her first trip there. She also has a stunning canary diamond ring. That diamond is as big as my head. I offer to wear it for her in case she gets tired of it, but she hasn't taken me up on it yet.

It was quite the little hen part at the "salon" today!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Reba McEntire- The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia

Erin belted this out over the phone to a very appreciate audience this evening: her mother. You are right Sweet Pea: You gotta be a commie not to love a real American like Reba!

Doe-Me-Doe Duds

This is what I must go through every morning to get ready for work....

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Happy Anniversary, Teeb!

Here's to the guy who:

still makes my heart do a little flip when he walks in the door.

makes me laugh. A LOT,

makes up the best lyrics to fit any situation.

That I only drive crazy occasionally and then all you say is "Honey...."

has the cutest grandson around,

And is the absolute love of my life.

Thanks for 12 wonderful years. It is has been a blast!

Good Stuff, Maynard

Roasted-Pepper Hummus

2 Tablespoons sesame seeds
1/2 cup diced roasted red bell pepper
1 can no-salt-added chick peas (garbanzo beans)
1/4 cup water
2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 medium clove garlic
salt
pepper

In a small nonstick skillet, dry roast the sesame seeds over medium heat for 2 or three minutes or until golden brown, shaking the pan every once in a while to stir things up.

In a food processor or blender, process the sesame seeds for 30 seconds.

Add the remaining ingredients. Process until smooth. Serve at room temp or refrigerate in an airtight container.

ONLY 1.5 GRAMS FAT!

This is yummy stuff and not too bad for you. I don't dice up the red pepper 'cause I figure the food processor will do it for me. This does need the salt, so if you are watching the sodium use some salt substitute. Also, A couple of shots of Texas Pete does not hurt this at all!

Enjoy this with your Diet Coke or your favorite adult beverage. And did anyone besides me notice that the descriptions of me as "my" drink are completely opposite? Apparently I am schizophrenic when drinking. Hmmmm. Come to think of it.....

Saturday, June 09, 2007

One for Arthur

You Are a Classic Martini

You area sophisticated drinker, who knows that simple quality is over-rated.
You're a knowledgeable drunk, but sometimes you're a know-it-all when you're blasted.

You should never: Drink and gossip. You tend to forget who's standing right behind you!

Your ideal party: Has a real bartender. But no one mixes a better drink than you.

Your drinking soulmates: those with a Chocolate Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: those with a Margarita Martini personality

Friday, June 08, 2007

Chardonnay?

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality.
You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex.
You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular.
Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!).

Deep down you are: Dependable and modest

Your partying style: Understated and polite

Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

Thursday, June 07, 2007

People who are raised in barns

There are people among us who were raised in barns. They look normal, but do not let that fool you. They were raised in barns.

How do I know this? I loaned a book to a barn dweller. She returned it to me today with the front cover folded and creased and the back cover has a coffee cup stain. After I swooned with dismay, I promised my little book that I would never loan it to anyone again. I will take it home and as lovingly as possible try to correct the indignaties inflicted upon it.

I should have known. She is a Longhorn and had the complete and unmitigated gall to give me a Longhorn air freshner for my car.

It is keeping my garbage pail Longhorn fresh.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Dedicated to Sonic

Sonic is now advertising FREE root beer floats. This would be all good and fine if there was a Sonic within a 100 mile radius of me, but NO.

Jerks

Monday, June 04, 2007

The ABC's of Life

Accept differences
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dream
Express thanks
Forgive
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine more
Jettison anger
Keep confidences
Love truly
Master something
Nuture hope
Open your mind
Pack lightly
Quell rumors
Reciprocate
Seek wisdom
Touch Hearts
Understand
Value truth
Win graciously
Xeriscape
Yearn for Peace
Zealously support a worthy cause

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I play the part of the blob



Done being grumpy - now I am just a blob

Friday, June 01, 2007

Color me GRUMPY




On top of everything else, today I was diagnosed with shingles.

Life sucks.

And I give myself permission to be completely grumpy and out of sorts all day tomorrow until 5:00 p.m.

That is when Teeb is due home

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Everyone raise your right hand

And repeat after me:

I (state your name) do solemnly swear,

That if I ever see Ann in this outfit,

I will retrieve the silver bullet she carries in her purse in case of such an emergency;

and shoot her with it because she clearly deserves to be be out of her (and our) misery.

Thank you my friends, I know I can depend on you if my brain accidentally squirts out my ear and I mortify myself by donning this get-up. I suppose that we should be thrilled she remembered to wear panties.


Out of Sorts

My beloved husband is off to visit his parents until Saturday evening and I am left to my own devices. It is so very tempting to go rescue all of my little friends from the dungeon that is DSW, but I think I shall hold off. For one thing, I have to be really careful of what shoes I wear with the broken ribs and all. Still haven't figured out how I did all that.

So what am I going to do for the next few days while Teeb is gone? I have choir this evening so that takes up tonight. But tomorrow Alicia and Betty leave for the DOK Province III retreat. Sue is going to work on the boat (which they named "No Good Deed" TOO Funny) I had forgotten that everyone was going to be gone and now I am a little petunia in an onion patch.

Unfortunate Sharpie Girl has been out of town so it is very quiet on that front.

I am simply at a loss as to what to do with myself!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Siren Song of Shoes

WAUKESHA, Wis. - Police seized more than 1,500 pairs of girls’ shoes from the home and storage unit of a man arrested for breaking into a high school, police said Tuesday.

“He liked to smell them,” said Lt. William H. Graham.

Police said the recovered shoes may be related to the burglaries of three Waukesha public high schools and a middle school over the past two years.

The 27-year-old Kenosha man, who was not identified because had yet to be formally charged, worked for a cable company and collected keys to the schools as he responded to calls, Graham said. The same man was convicted in 2005 for stealing shoes from Kenosha Tremper High School.

Police arrested him after a security video showed him entering North High School on May 20 and leaving with some items, authorities said.

Officers searched the man’s home and a rented storage unit on Thursday, recovering the shoes along with school yearbooks, keys, a bolt cutter and other items.

The man was expected to be charged in Waukesha County Circuit Court, Capt. Mike Babe said.

It's WEDNESDAY

Wednesday Addams - get it?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Boo.

I have had this weird pain in my side for almost a week, so I decided that I would cave in and go to the doctor to see about it. Radical concept.

Turns out I have two cracked/broken ribs. How did I get said broken ribs? No earthly idea. You would think that if I pulled some stunt the ended up in a broken bone that I would remember it (and no, I don't drink that much), but for the life of me I cannot come up with anything.

Since I cannot recall any injury to myself, I now get the opportunity to have a bone density test done. It's not that big of a deal, just like an X-ray from what I understand. I am just not thrilled about the entire incident.

You think that if I was going to break two ribs I would at least have a good story to tell about it.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Butt Darts

Here just miles from our nation's capitol we are able to amuse ourselves with the most refined and sophisticated past times - we play butt darts.

What? You have never played? SHOCKING!

To play butt darts a cup of some sort is placed on the floor. Then one carefully places a quarter between ones cheeks (let me clarify here that clothes are definitely worn during this game. We are not that degenerate). The the player then waddles over to the cup, clinching the quarter as best possible, and aims for the cup, attempting to deposit said quarter. I suck at this game because I cannot laugh, waddle, and clinch all at the same time. I did manage to hit the cup but my quarter bounced out.

Our parish champion is a studious child about 8 years old. She has never missed. She also reads the lessons with great aplomb and clearly has a life of greatness ahead of her.