This morning, after a glorious Easter, I returned to work and joined in a discussion on "The Sound of Music," which was on last night. I mentioned that it was the first movie I ever saw in a theatre. One of the more unfortunate people who work here (unfortunate for me anyway) commented, "Damn! How hold ARE you!?!?"
Gasps were heard throughout the building.
One of my little therapist friends (the one who bought the black wedge sandal like a good little grasshopper) jumped in the middle of all that and read her the riot act! I mean the tent was up and people were coming to Jesus - it was that good of a rave.
And then Grasshopper said the most cutting thing she could think of: "And you can't have lunch with us ANYMORE!"
This nearly did me in - I just started cracking up!! Shunned from the lunch table - the SHAME!
I told them that if they did not act nice that I was going to make them HOLD HANDS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. And you know I will, don't you children of mine? I told them I was even going to make them hold hands at the MALL like I did my kids when they acted like goobers. I even offered to let them use my cell phone to call my children to verify that, yes, I had indeed scarred my children's psyches by making them hold hands when they were fighting. They were no end horrified and fussing abruptly stopped.
Then Unfortunate and I (did I mention that she is also Sharpie girl? Yes, she is the Unfortunate Sharpie Girl) had a chat about why she is always making a big deal about my age and I think that we came to an understanding. More to follow....